Last Words

Posted: July 4, 2011 in Boy meets Girl

Dear Kevin,

What you are about to read are my final and last words to you. You will never hear or see me again.
I loved you.
I thought it was the only reason why I existed in this world.
To love you
To exist for you, to cherish you in my heart and in my soul
I loved you so much, I was in pain
Not emotional pain but a physical one.
I radiated from my chest to my face, legs and arms
I felt it all over me
When you entered a room, my skin pickled, I got goose bumps all over my neck and arms
I loved you so much that I cried at night from happiness
So happy I had you in my life
I loved you so much it consumed me
I consumed my mind, my body, my soul
I’m covered by the memories we had
The good ones and the bad
I’m covered with scars

You think this is a love poem or something?
It’s nothing near that
I’m writing this to you to know what I feel about you and let you know the last memories I have of you are not good ones
And I want to ask this question
What the fuck did I do?
What did I do so wrong that you had to inflict the punishment you gave me?
We were going out for three years
Three years
Everyone thought we were getting married
I was already picking out a dress in my mind
I still dunno what I did to you to make me hurt me so bad
The late nights
The nights you would never come home
The text messages you would send as I was talking to you
The calls that you had to receive in the other room
Before you allowed me to pick your phone, you allowed me to read your text messages
But now even if I touched your phone to bring it to you it was a problem
Then I found out the truth
You were having an affair
Sorry, you were having multiple affairs
With her
And her
And her
Oh did I mention her too?
Four different girls over the span of our three year relationship
How was I so blind not to see this?
How was I so stupid not to see the signs and know what you were doing?
I couldn’t believe it
This just comes to prove that love was never enough for you
So all the years I devoted to you are all gone

You dumped me
You of all people in the world dumped me!
Who do you think you are?
I came home and saw my clothes stuffed into Ghana must go bags outside the door
Of the house I bought with my own well earned money!
I came home and found my essence being thrown away by you!
You took my heart and smashed it into little pieces and threw it back in my face!
I want you to know
That my love is too special!
My love is too beautiful!
My love is too awesome!
To have it thrown back in my face!
You hurt me
You cheated on me
Fine!
I won’t go and meet all the girls you slept with and demand they leave you alone
No!
My mother raised me better than that
I will move on with my life!
I will move on and make myself a better person, a better woman!
So that later, five or ten years down the road
When you see me
The C.E.O of a Fortune 500 company
Rocking my Birkin bag and walking around in my Loubutin shoes
You will know
You will think
You will say
DAMN!
What was I thinking when I let this woman go?
DAMN!
What the fuck did I just miss out on?

When you read this and finally realize how stupid you were for losing me
You will know
That you didn’t deserve me
At all

Note:
1. This is the first original thing I’ve written in three weeks. I was battling with serious writer’s block and it was not pretty. So please excuse me if this post isn’t awesome or special. I’m still trying to get a hang of things.
2. This weekend, I attended a literary evening which was to mark the end of a workshop that Chimamanda Adichie had. I had met her before when she came to my school to give a talk and I was delighted ot meet her again. Being surrounded by literary giants and talented writers helped me and gave me the push I needed to write again. Again, I apologize if this post isn’t so great. I will get better in time.
Oh, everybody MUST read Chimamanda’s collection of short stories, ‘The Thing Around Your Neck’. Its such a wonderful collection of work. I read it all in one night.

Have a great day everyone! Toodles!

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Comments
  1. afrosays says:

    Reads like a real vex letter,
    No unnecessary finery, more angst than beauty.

    I’d be waiting for more of your stuff though, the more exciting ones…

    • d3ola says:

      Afrosays commented on my post!
      *faints*
      Thanks for your comment. I wanted it to be a bit angry, like a ‘fuck you’ to the guy. I hope I’ll be able to write exciting stuff. Still trying to get my mojo back.
      🙂

  2. Good stuff…apology accepted…welcome back hun…

  3. freshprinz says:

    Nice to see u’re writing again. Even John Grisham must’ve had his fair share of writers block (I think).

    About the story, I hate it when women are depicted as weak, stupid & needy folk. I know they possess these traits but on such a grand scale it just makes me want to slap the character….

    • d3ola says:

      I’m confused, my character or other characters? I tried to portray her as a woman who had accepted her faith and had decided to move on.

  4. @bule_jr says:

    So ok. Bule_jr is commenting on your post too. But no don’t faint, just *breathe*. Will look forward to more exciting stuff from you.

  5. kelvin says:

    I’m keLvin sha…

  6. Ekwe says:

    hahahaha,I found this post funny. I like it!!

  7. awesomeposh says:

    Well Kevin might have been bad and i am sure he had a reason for his actions not that i am supporting Kevin but no man will just wake up and make such harsh decisions, so my advice don’t blame all man genre for what Kevin Did…Move on and your next relationship should be better if you don’t bring your past into it
    Hope i said well lol

    • d3ola says:

      The point of this post was to say ‘fuck you and I’m moving on’ to the guy. I’m sure many women have gone through this and ended up happy with other men.
      Thanks for reading! 🙂

  8. …And she writes…
    Is this a true story? We want more o!..

  9. @bule_jr says:

    About the post, moving on is overated. Do we really move on? Or just replace the people and try our best to forget? 8/10 times if you see an ex, thoughts come back, memories flash and stuff and you just trudge ahead knowing they weren’t worth it. But moving on is hard.

  10. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Nice one dee (y)

  11. highlandblue says:

    I wish people who played with our hearts knew how much it hurt. “Hell hath no fury ….” Scorned love is so painful. Maybe I should write it from the guy’s perspective. I always get confused as to the gender of Deola. The avatar.??

    • d3ola says:

      I’m a girl oh! Very fine one sef! 😀

      • highlandblue says:

        Lol. Nice to meet you. I was wondering whether a guy could be into fashion! But I needed to be sure. That was how I almost set P for RJ (Insane Phenom) when he put his girlfriend’s picture as his avatar. (Thank God for gentlemanly caution in approach :D) Deola, where’s the man that did this to you? He must pay! I need a name and address. *sharpening cutlass*

      • d3ola says:

        This is fiction oh! Not all my posts have personal stuff behind them. Just came to the top of my head last night and I wrote it.

  12. highlandblue says:

    Heh heh. I know. I saw your comment on not having the strength of the character. Funny enough you and Toolsman’s post this morning seem to tell the same story from the two sides of the coin. The guy is pained you left cos he messed up, and you are pained too. So people, go and read the boy’s response on Toolsman’s post. Maybe after that you can click on my name and see mine too. 😀

  13. 0latoxic says:

    Welcome back honey. I’m just glad you were thoughtful enough to keep us plied with material from other great writers during your ‘hiatus’. I’m sorta sad this was fiction. Seemed like a ‘straight from the heart’ piece though I’m glad you didn’t actually go through this sha…
    Ku’ishe (y)

  14. Who broke into my mind?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
    😥

  15. iamsamsie says:

    Were they cohabiting?
    I’m thinking this lady is in the phase before the phase where she bursts in tears and realises the birkin and louboutin shoes won’t make him feel bad and then she will wail some more.
    There’s no sort of revenge..get a grip.
    Another guy will oust Kevin out of that heart sooner.
    Btw you see why I DO NOT LIKE relationships*smiles*

  16. iamsamsie says:

    Came bck to subscribe.

  17. slimsiren says:

    Yo, He kicked you out of a house YOU bought with YOUR own hard-earned kobo?????????!!!!

    Chei!! The fuckery oo!! My igbo madness is singing hymns.

    In ghana-must-go bag again. Mba nu. Dude has 0 finesse.

    Well, all i can suggest is, go to SlevinCalevra. He would advise you on the best way to kill yourself sha. At least, you’ll be remembered in style 😉

    Nice write up, D3ola. I know all about writers block, and how hard it is to pick up the pen again. Wellu done my sister, character portrayal was tight.

  18. taiofierce says:

    Ah! House that was bought with personal cash, idiot had the balls to throw stuff out, he couldn’t pack his own bags and leave ni! He don craze oh! If this happens to me right before moving on, I would organize area boys to beat the dude up first and throw him out!!

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