The gods are not to blame

Posted: July 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

The gods are not to blame for anything they have done in my life
They have no hand in it what so ever
No controlling grip at all
If I knew they were behind the mess they call my life
I would swear for them
I would curse them
I would wish I had never been born
But I know they have no hand

The gods are not to blame for my father
They didn’t make him this way
Coming home every night drunk and pissed off
And then he would come to my room and have his way with me
Muffling my cries with his hand
The same he once used to hold me and call me his little girl
Should I blame the gods for this?
Something must have caused it
Maybe ….. maybe me …

The gods are not to blame for the way my mother treats me
In fact, if she treated me badly, I would actually prefer that
I don’t have a mother
I woke up and my mother was gone
She packed and left me all alone with my father and sister
I don’t see her and the only time I hear from her is on my birthday
She sends a gift certificate and a teddy bear every year
Even though I’m 17 now
I throw away the teddy bear but I use the gift certificates to survive
I sell them in school and use the money to buy food and clothes for my sister
But my sister has her own way of getting necessities for us
In fact, it’s a major way of our survival
Should I curse the gods above and devote myself to living a life like this?
Maybe … I don’t know
All I know is that the gods want me to be happy
And I am not happy with life now
Therefore, they didn’t want this for me and I can’t blame them

My sister is another story
The gods did not make her what she is
What is she?
A prostitute
She goes out there selling herself so that we can have food to eat
She swallows jizz for an extra fee which we use to pay the rent
She takes it up in the ass so that I can have clothes to wear
I want her to stop it
I want her to come home at night not smelling like alcohol and sex
But the money she get allows us to survive
Allows us to live
Our survival depends on her

I ponder these things every night before I sleep
After he comes for his regular fuck
Should we leave him and go on our own?
My sister has saved enough money for us to get a place at a motel for a while
I want to run and leave him
But he’s my father
He gave us life
But is that an excuse for all he does to us?
Ya he beats my sis
Then he comes to fuck me
What kind of life is this?
Why did you do this to me God?
Yes, I blame you and curse the day I was born!
I would have preferred to have been born to die!

No … No
The Gods are not to blame

Hello y’all! I hope you enjoy this post. The story has been playing in my head for a while and I finally wrote it. Comments are highly appreciated!
Oh and due to the comments and response I got towards my memoirs, I will continue the series! Expect a new post on Friday!
Toddles! 🙂

Advertisements
Comments
  1. iamsamsie says:

    The devil in the gods is to blame..
    Choyi eyear.

  2. MsBukonla says:

    Nice one. ‘Swallows jizz for an extra fee’ awwww…The gods are not to blame, we are responsible for what we make of our existence. You can keep a dull knife by ur bedside the next time he comes :). Not to cut him, just to put the fear of God in him. And ur sis will get old eventually, her goods won’t be so ‘sellable’. What are YOU bringing to the table?! The gods are not to blame.

  3. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Hmmmm….saw d title first thn dat came to mind was d “book”…
    The “gods” are not to be blamed!

  4. The gods are not to blame for real… for there are no gods 🙂

  5. 'il Cicero' says:

    Blame them ooo if u actually believe in them.. moreso if you believe they have a hand in human affairs… blame them and ignore them! take ur destiny into ur hands and forge them!

  6. papyrusczar says:

    Nice. I just hope no one took this story as something real lol.

  7. Genesis says:

    One word. —-▶ CONTROL. As I kept reading, the entire story became a Giant Metaphor. Here, Control is a god. The father’s god tampered with her own god. Her own god became malleable. Her sister’s god is a forgotten deity. This is what could happen to the most decent of us all if that deity was to go on Vacay. Nice read. And yes, Popc’s god is to blame. CONTROL

  8. TheExtrovertKid says:

    Very touching poem. I wouldn’t wish this life on anyone I know. Nice work, Deola.

  9. 0latoxic says:

    The gods are not to blame for the downpour of yesterday that would not let me get to know you better, the gods are not to blame…

    nb This is not me setting P, maybe I’m just setting (with an) L 😉

  10. highlandblue says:

    Deola it breaks me to see how girls are often on the receiving end of abuse from men and male society. Thanks again. Mr Ola well done O. *side eye*

  11. kemmiiii says:

    This is really nice..the gods are not to blame indeed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s