True Love?

Posted: September 7, 2011 in The Writer's Roundabout

Hey y’all!!!

Welcome back everybody. Today, RJ (@ChykElfarooq_RJ) continues the story I started on Monday. If this is your first time here or as usual, you are carrying last, read the first installment here.

Without further ado ….

******************************

During the Civil war(Biafra war) in the late 60’s, a great warrior arose from the land of Bulufim in Jigawa state. His name, Sadiq Istubefi-Ed. He was known through out the entire Northern province and was very instrumental during the war.ย  A serious fight with Colonel Ojukwu’s(Leader of the Biafrans) men left him almost “wrist-less”. His arms and hands were perfectly okay but his wrists were permanently damaged. When Usman El-Farooq (Leader of the Northen Soldiers and my grand-dad) heard that his best soldier was no longer useful in the battlefield he asked Sadiq to become a spy. Sadiq, the smart ass fagget, deceived Colonel Ojukwu and his men by pledging false allegiance to them. How could Ojukwu be this “smart”. The entire “Biafra” depended on him. Sadiq Istubefi-Ed fucked Colonel Ojukwu and his men up by telling Usman El-Farooq his plans resulting in a war-loss for the Biafrans. He didn’t stop there. Sadiq fucked all 6 of Ojukwu’s wives. Simultaneously. It might seem a lil impossible but why do you think they call him “Sadiq Istubefi-Ed/Sir Dick Is To Be Feared”. Filled with Rage, Colonel Ojukwu went to the Okija shrine and cursed Sadiq saying:

“Your first son shall have no erection. Ever. Except he finds his true love”.

Sadiq died shortly after the war was won but not before he ‘knew’ his wife,Mytikegs Istubefi-Ed and she was with child. She gave birth to a son and named him after his father. He was Sadiq Istubefi-Ed II. Sadiq grew up to be just like his dad. Strong,Smart and handsome but the curse was on him. It killed his “sweggz”. Ladies threw themselves at him but he didn’t give a fuck because…. Well,literally, he couldn’t give a fuck. He had to find his true love.

***************************************

Sadiq Istubefi-Ed II

“Look Shola,we’ve been in this restaurant for over 15mins. I’m getting nervous. What if I really came alone on this ‘date'”

“Relax. Babe. Your man is on his way. You see Jade …”

“Yes Shola?”

“The guy, the one that resisted me. Well,I might have lied a little bit about him. I met him at an online dating site.I haven’t actually met him face to face.I flirted with him but he told me he didn’t want just sex, said he was looking for “the special one”. Then he cracked a joke about one Jose Mourinho like that.I didn’t get the joke. Don’t give me that look. I actually went online to look for a man for YOU not myself.”

“Hian! Alright o. I just hope its not one of those guys that’ll use me for rituals sha” Jade said as she sipped a lil bit of her Champagne

“Well,umm. Its a surprise. Even to me.His English is kinda poor so he uses a translator but he’s really loaded” Shola said. “If you don’t wanna sleep with him you can at least take his money.”

“Wow! Thank God you came o. Me with 2 guys on a date. I for die. So you got me a white dude”ย  giggled Jade. “Tell me,is he French? Italian?”

“Jade dear, u see…”

As Shola tried to explain to Jade, a charming young man (look at the picture and tell me he ain’t charming) walked into the restaurant followed behind by his translator. They walked over to the Ladies’ table and greeted ’em. Shola expected better and she let her feelings known to Ibrahim,the translator. But what they failed to notice was that Sadiq and Jade were locked in an eye contact. It was love at 1st sight. This was what Jade needed, someone different. This was equally what Sadiq Istubefi-Ed II wanted, a true love to give him a woodie.

“Ka gyamishi wey inaso’n bashi kai. Ka gyamishi wey inna dey kanto’n bura. Ka che Bura na caman na Mandingo. Ka gyamishi inaso’n chi gindi shi” said Sadiq to Ibrahim his Interpreter as he smiled.

“Errrr.. Ladies. What my master just told me to tell you might seem a lil bit inappropriate but u gotta understand that…”

“SAY IT” Shola said

“Ok. Here it goes. Sadiq said he wants to give u head. Said he has a very big..big..”

“Big what?” Shola said in a irritated voice.

“Big penis. Said its like Mandingo’s and said he would like to have sex with you”

“What happened to the whole “I want the special one but I aint a fagget” speech? What do the 2 of you take my friend for?” Shola said in an angry tone as she flipped them the bird. “Let’s get outta here Jade. Sorry for putting you through … WHAT THE FUCK??? ”

Jade rushed forward and started kissing Sadiq. The agro both of ’em had was great. They made out for a minute and both of ’em ran out to the parking lot where they entered Sadiq’s car and started having .. Well,what Sadiq called sex and what was Jade’s death. He kept thrusting hard. She enjoyed it at first but then started screaming for help. 28years worth of agro was being unleashed on Jade.

*********************************************

So ya …..

What happens to Jade? Does she survive the ‘thrusting?’ What will happen with Shola and the translator? So many questions!!!

Yvi helped me this time to pick out the name of the person to continue after RJ

Yvi picking the name out of the calabash

And the next person is ….

WOLE!!! _ThinkTank_

Head back here on Friday 9:30 to know what happens next!!!

Have a great day!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

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Comments
  1. terdoh says:

    ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Chike has kee’d me ๐Ÿ˜

  3. 28 years worth of Agro.. LMAO…

  4. terdoh says:

    Sir Dick is to be feared….

    I might get fired for laughing too hard!!

  5. “…what Sadiq called sex and what was Jadeโ€™s death.” <- my fave line!!! LMAO! Agro is deadly! Not to mention 28 years' worth! *smh*

  6. isetfiretotherain says:

    I’m confused. Is this a joke or something?

  7. raihanah says:

    That Hausa was just hmmmmm….special!!

    If I was Wole,I olredy knw where the story goes…

    Oh well…..

  8. terdoh says:

    Ah, Chike, you connected it well…nice one!!

    *goes back up to read again*

  9. Sadiq Istubefi-Ed II truely is the true son of his father. This is stupendously hilarious. Let’s see what the Think Tank does with this.
    (Y)

  10. keLvin says:

    Didn’t seem like a realistic story to me. It watered down the brilliance put into the first post. Don’t want to sound like a spoil sport, it was ‘funny’ but too…errr…
    Looking forward to ThinkTank’s.
    Please raise the bar.
    Good job still dee and RJ

  11. @yinkadelakes says:

    sadiq & mytikegs istubefi-ed…lmao shike u b major fool!!!!

  12. MzChique says:

    Nice connection,I was confused at first but now,am getting you!

  13. OOkpoechi says:

    looooooooool i af died. this was just too funny mygaaadd

  14. You guys are evil… think of those yet to write na… i wii just kill everyone’s morale o!

  15. freakyjoangeL says:

    ‘Sir Dick is to be feared too’ ‘Mighty Kegs’ ..
    i just kent.

  16. radiokiller says:

    I can only “zigh”……..I have a huge crush on Mytikegs tho but I can’t express dis feeling cos appaz sadiq istubefi-ed ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  17. Genesis says:

    *stands up applauding* The village of Bulufim??? โ—€—- My first LOL moment. Interesting Tie-in. Fecking Hilarious! ๐Ÿ˜€

  18. Nutella says:

    The names? *rolls*. I am with Kevin though, the story is a little… ThinkTank bring it on.

  19. vicarter says:

    Chike nwoye!!! *sigh*…u r done for

  20. Kemmiiii says:

    Lol! Really funny!
    Lovely one.

  21. mo says:

    Plain jokes men this is so funny I pity the next set of people to write (Y)

  22. 0latoxic says:

    Notice how everyone thinks this is really funny except those of us who are on the project and are yet to write? RJ, why are you ‘evils’ like this nah?!

    Wole, no try yourself o. Kelv is in Benin right now. You melzz up, we send some tins flying your way. Capisce?!

  23. Hmmm….ok, seems I’m catching up late. Will follow, but if my understanding of the concept is right then this is one very interesting project.

  24. d3ola says:

    Hey everyone …

    Thanks for all the comments. I just have a few things to say …

    When I started this series, I had no intention on making it serious. If you expected something serious or realistic, then I’m sorry.
    The point of this project was to have fun. What did you all expect from RJ? You all expected something serious? LOL!
    So @isetfiretotherain no this is not a joke. ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. ThinkTank says:

    This is madness!

    Or is it? No, this is… Er…Sparta?

    The calabash has spoken well. I shall speak on friday.

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. ibetapassmynebo says:

    Naaaa shiga uku….zamana para Buro uba iska!

  27. okem_daniels says:

    “His hand was okay but his wrist was bad.. Stick a fork in chyke his done -_- for

  28. Adaora says:

    oh my gawwddd!!! this is just too funny…at first, i was confused but i now saw the connection (which was very smart of the writer) but now, i just wonder how tyhe next person will continue. LMAO!

  29. Ekwe says:

    hahahahahahahahahaha. this is hilarious!!!!

  30. krimmedic says:

    I think there’s something wrong with me. I did not crack a single smile throughout this read.
    Well,you did a good job with Sadiq’s name…

  31. Mz_Shadee says:

    See me laughing like a fool. Nice..very nice. *now subscribing*

  32. Mz_Shadee says:

    I’m scared to think of what ThinkThank will post. Dude is twisted ๐Ÿ˜ :p

  33. Ngufy says:

    Lol. I wondered where this was goin at first but the connection was a miracle! Sir Dick to be feared? That right there was brilliant! Lets have fun please… Its not that serious!Keeping my fingers crossed for the continuation……. Kill it!!! Keeping my finger

  34. thetoolsman says:

    lol.. I’ll wait for the next post.

  35. […] first time here or you are carrying a very heavy last, read my part here and read RJ’s part here. (I suggest you read mine […]

  36. highlandblue says:

    So those of us who have been virgins for over 28 years will now…. sighs. Rj why are u spoiling market for us? *goes to look for interpreter* I love the names. Sadiq Istubefi-Ed. I will never forget that name. (y)

  37. […] So fellas, visit her blog here and check it out. And by the way,I’ve posted mine already … Lil faggets. @ollyliciouss: why do you like calling people “lil faggets”? […]

  38. but chike. And when i say RJ is mahd, his voltrons/powerpuff girls will be forming gnawing at me. *sigh*

  39. @Ore_Li says:

    RJ didn’t you say ” Well,what Sadiq called sex and what was Jadeโ€™s death.” So what are we guessing again, you already said she dies…..I dont know

  40. Xbone says:

    Omo dis guy wicked oo….c twist…intriducin a ‘mr big-prick’ to d story….cant wait for d nxt installment tho….lovely๎€Ž

  41. Eye says:

    I really did enjoy dis. I Actually laughed hard!

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