Answers Needed …

Posted: September 9, 2011 in The Writer's Roundabout


Welcome to the latest installment of ‘The Writer’s Roundabout’. I have to say that I never expected this much from you all. Thanks for all the comments and RTs.

If this is your first time here or you are carrying a very heavy last, read my part here and read RJ’s part here. (I suggest you read mine first).

Next up, we have Wole a.k.a _ThinkTank …. Enjoy!


Jade had closed her eyes and waited to die or pass out as it had become apparent that Sadiq would, in all likelihood, fuck her to death.

Initially overcome with ecstasy, it quickly turned to fear, then anger and eventually resignation. Her screams for help and struggles to extricate herself had been disregarded by the sex-crazed Sadiq Istubefi-Ed who had pinned her down and was attempting to dissipate almost three decades worth of ‘Konji’ with every thrust into her. She had resigned to her fate. Her mind wandered to what her parents would think when they read the medical reports – ‘apoplexy due to intense and aggravated sexual activity’ perhaps? or ‘excess blood loss due to severe vaginal tearing’? They might just die of shame and she would have to explain to them in the afterlife. That would be awkward. She made up her mind and was about to make one more attempt at a struggle for freedom when it came, unexpectedly.

A shot in the darkness.

She heard glass shatter and watched as Sadiq’s head exploded into a fascinating cornucopia of blood, bone and brain matter. In less than a second, the bullet had invaded and then liberated itself from his skull. He was dead. She was covered in what had been the innards of his head a few seconds ago and his considerably large penis was still inside her. For a brief moment, she lost her sense of reasoning and could only scream.

When her prodigal senses returned to her, she hurriedly tumbled out of the car and onto the ground. She stood up and looked around, half-expecting a crowd to have gathered around the surreal scene she had suddenly become a part of but there was no one watching. What was it people usually say about a tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it? That.

She stood there in the empty car park for a minute, still stunned until it dawned on her  that the killer could still be out here. She wasn’t sure if she had just been saved from death by dick or a just the next on a list of victims. She shuddered as she realized that she could be in the line of fire in that very moment. She started to make a bolt for the restaurant entrance but paused, went back to the car and grabbed her bag. This was her only original Louis Vuitton item and she would sooner eat a bullet than part ways with it. Bag in hand, she continued running to the entrance to tell her friend Shola what happened and try to get the hell out of there immediately.

“God please save me, I know I am a useless girl but please! Jesus! Blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus!…”  She started reciting her mother’s mantra for times of trouble in a series of whispers as she sprinted to the entrance. Almost at the door, she realized that she was covered in blood and brain matter. She could not go in that way, they would think her mad or at the very least, a murderer. She collected her senses, stopped and hid behind a nearby pillar to make a call to Shola.

Shola picked up the phone immediately and said in an excited voice:

“Jade baby! How was the kondo? Was it hot? I saw fire in your eyes, girl!” She blurted.

“Shola please! I am dead. Please in his blessed name, come outside biko, they want to kill me!” Jade spoke in a high pitched whisper to her friend.

“Ah ahn!!? Jade what is it? Calm down, it’s just dick now, it cannot kill you jor don’t be so bloody dramatic. Have you not had sex before? Abeg!”

“No, Shola, Listen!” Jade shouted. “Sadiq is dead. Somebody shot him. I think they want to kill me. In the name of God, please tell Ibrahim to come and take us home or to the police station! Anywhere but here, please”

“Okay Jade, we are coming outside, please calm down”. Shola was obviously still confused.

“I’m just outside, near the pillar at the car park entrance, please hurry, please!” Jade ended the call and sunk to her knees behind the pillar sobbing uncontrollably.

“What kind of wretched life is this?!? Ahhhh! God please, forgive me! I give my life to you. I surrender all into your capable hands. I shall live and not die. Please God, save your daughter from the devil” she lamented, looking down at the concrete floor where her hot tears fell, marking the ground with each droplet.

“Jade!!! Ahhh!!!” Shola was walking toward her friend and was obviously flabbergasted at the sight of her body covered in human tissue and blood.

“Ye! Ahhhh. Yeeee!! Jade? Is this Blood? Who is dead? Ah?!! Where is Sadiq oooo!!!” Shola started to slap her thighs and gesticulate wildly.

Ibrahim was obviously still taking it all in. He remained silent.

“Shhhhhhh!!” Jade cautioned her friend who made quite an easy target in her Red dress and with her wild movements and noises. Shola please be quiet. Please. He could still be around. He will kill us. Please let’s just get away now!”

Shola stopped cold and went silent.

Ibrahim finally spoke: “So my master is dead ba? And this is his blood on your body ba? And the person that killed him is still around ba? Come ehnnn, please let us run for our lives. Abi you people are stupid? Or you want to die ba?”

Ibrahim looked like he had hot diarrhea that needed to escape his anus instantly.  He was fidgeting with his hands and shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Let’s go jooooor” He said in a raised voice.

“Which car will we use?” Jade retorted.

As Ibrahim opened his lips to answer her, a black and yellow bus with the words ‘I know bad guys’ inscribed on its side next to a picture of Wizkid, sped up to and parked beside them. Shola jumped as the driver braked hard with a loud screech. Jade watched in horror as the masked driver pulled out a long, black pistol and shot Ibrahim twice: once in the head and again in the neck. Blood spurted from the two new perforations in a wild spatter. Both girls screamed in terrified harmony as the driver opened the door swiftly and hurled two black lobs at them before they could make a move to run. Everything went black.


Jade woke up stunned, confused and convinced all that had happened so far was a nightmare. But when she tried to move, she could not. The shackles on her hands reminded her that it was all too real. Her heart sank as she heard a voice speak to her.

“Hello Miss, I’m so glad you’re awake. I was starting to get bored for a minute there” Her masked captor spoke clear, lightly-accented  English, in  a high-pitched voice.

“Now see, I have a few questions to ask you but I need to be absolutely sure you will tell me the right answers so before we begin, I’d like us to have a little show and tell. First, the show…”

Her captor pointed left and Jade turned her head in that direction to see Shola lying sideways and looking at her. Shola’s eyes moved around wildly in her head like they did whenever she spoke animatedly about anything of interest but this time the words were conspicuously absent. And then there was the blood around her mouth. It appeared she had been beaten.

Her captor interrupted her thoughts.

“Oh, Yes. Now, tell. Well, she’s probably trying to tell you that I am a mad man and that I will kill you. For the most part, she is wrong. Allow me to point out two things. Well, first off, I’m not a man.” With a smooth movement, her captor removed the mask, exposing a face that was undoubteldly female. Full lips, braided hair and a caramel skin tone, If she had seen her in another place, under different circumstances, Jade would have thought she was stunning.

“Second, I’m quite nice most of the time. By the way, call me Kat, K-A-T. Kat. I love doing crosswords and baking. I love food! Sponge cakes are my favorites. Yum.”  She licked her lips as she spoke.

“I suppose I should have let your friend speak by herself instead of assuming her thoughts and relaying them to you but I’m quite she sure would have found it burdensome to speak without these…”

Kat held out her right hand, opened her up her palm and Jade vomited a little in her mouth. Kat was holding a tongue and some bloodied teeth in her hand. Jade knew with dead certianty that they were Shola’s.

“Okay, So now that we’re all friends and understand our present situation, Let’s get back to those questions I wanted to ask…”


Wow … I bet you didn’t see that one coming.

So what happens now? Why was Sadiq killed? What does Kat want with Jade? And will Shola ever speak again?

All this and more depend on the next writer ….

My wonderful friend Adaora (I know plenty Igbo people), helped me pick the name of the next writer.

Me and Adaora doing the 'ritual dance' around the calabash

Picking the name out of the calabash

And the next writer is …..

Sandra aka @Sandie Pandie

Come back here by 9:30 on Monday to know what happens next!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!!! 😀


  1. Genesis says:

    1st 😀

  2. @TheRealAdonye says:

    I definitely didn’t see that coming.. U guys are too much *doffs hat*
    Bet what will make a stunning babe turn to kidnapping? Modelling or Video vixen job don finish? And the inscription on the bus is.. Anyways, see wetin Wizkid don cause.. Also, I can’t wait to see what Enobong would do to this story.. Sandie, over to you..

  3. terdoh says:

    Wole you basterd!! How the heck do you expect me to…oh. Its sandie’s turn.

    Nevertheless, you killed the character I was going to work with.

    *sigh* These damn bloggers!

    • ThinkTank! says:

      I am a bloodthirsty villian. People must die to appease me. thats the way I roll 🙂

      And yes, I killed off an intersting character and introduced a new one. Fair play yes?

      • terdoh says:

        No…you killed my two favorite characters…and almost killed Shola. It’s cool. I can always create my own. You’re still a weist tho.

  4. ibetapassmynebo says:

    ohh 4 sure ds is wole’s handwork..dark twisted mind…didnt see ds one coming wallahi sosei!!

  5. Mz_Shadee says:

    Aaarrrrggghhh!!! ThinkTank u and ur scary stories!

  6. Issorai… *laughing in greek*

  7. keLvin says:

    Yup! Bar is now raised.

  8. Honey_wealth says:

    wow! i sure didn’t see that coming. Nice twist ThinkTank, this will definitely bring me back as i want to see how the next writer will solve this mess.

  9. isetfiretotherain says:

    aha! now that’s a story. waiting for the next.

  10. 0laToxic says:

    Gehn ghen!! Okay nah, leh’s go der!!

    Wole (y)

  11. OOkpoechi says:

    Loooooooool. Wonder how the next writer will continue. Awesome stuff!

  12. 88factor says:

    Amazing ! Great story

  13. isetfiretotherain says:

    Wole you just couldn’t do without adding kondo abi? I’ll knack you akpako.

  14. o woooooowww…!!ok dnt see this coming at all..noo noo noo i dnt….wooow!! nyc one tho @ _ThinkTank

  15. oooo nd yeah, sersli lookn forward to te next one… 😀

  16. Smallz says:

    Awesome read. Tho i thnk they shuda left wole to b d last writer.

  17. ThinkTank! says:

    Nobody spotted my ‘KAT got her tongue’ inside joke yet? 😦

  18. Genesis says:

    28 years of restrained Konji only to be Gunned down after one taste? Why evils? This piece should be renamed “A fuck to die for.” Having said that… *walks away in slow motion with trophy*

  19. The Think tank killed this one. It would’ve have been so cool if Terdoh was next tho’.. I wanted to see what he would’ve done to the story as it is. Sandie’ll do justice to this as well!
    It’s cos of incidences like that I never gbensh in the car. Bad luck I tell ya… Literally sha, konji kills.

  20. Kemmiiii says:

    I tolly’ dint see this coming (y)

  21. afrosays says:

    Oh lawd!
    What has this world become?

    *Furiosly sharpening pencil*

    We must to behd utunu!

    *Calms down*

    But really though, big ups to ThinkThank for keeping my attention captive. This was several layers of exciting!

  22. ms_stephydiva says:

    Oh wow!!! Wow!!!! Wowerz!!!!

  23. Ngufy says:

    LOOOOl at d KAT with d tongue part. Awesome story… Sir Dick had to die tho? Thot d konji story would be the death of Jade and not literally…. Nice twist guys. *Fingers crossed* lets see if u raise it a notch or kill it!

  24. obi_jay says:

    wow! ThinkTank, Nice work! wasn’t expecting this!
    thanks for killing Sir Dick joor! he was making the whole story really wierd…lol

  25. Daisy says:

    Wow! This is an amazing twist to the story. I like the fact that people died, the story started out kinna mushy and went downright to weird. This part right here, Epic. That would be all.

  26. awizii says:

    O_O Gbogbo drama!

    I like! like! likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

    Amazing stuff man!

  27. Nutella says:

    And Wole never disappoints. Captivating.

  28. But is this not madness?!?!
    I’m loving it jàre.

  29. joan186 says:

    Wow! Very twisted. I love it. Nice one Wole (Y). I’m happy you killed off that Sadiq person, he looked to funky for my liking. A beautiful man (tall, dark, handsome, established and looking for love) is desperately needed in this story ^_^. I loved Shola tho… Please fix her 😀

  30. pam says:

    no more kfc for shola.. 😦 i dint bargain for this. writer, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!!!!
    gaddemit, who woulda thought from the first story that ALL this was going to happen. lool. nice story sha.
    so!! theyre help captive by a chick name KAT eh? cool cool.. ive watched enuf porn to know where this is going. *nods*

  31. Adaora says:

    oh wow! wow! wooooooooww!! i love the twist!!! didnt realy like the sadiq guy…can’t wait for sandie pandie. 😀

  32. I’m not next \=D/

    I seriously can’t imagine how I would’ve followed this..

    Nice one, Wole. I love how you killed those ones off 😀

    Kat got her tongue? (Y)

  33. highlandblue says:

    Lol. Wole had to use that word Cornucopia. Smh. Nice Roundtable Deola.

  34. Winnie says:

    *Phew*This is getting interesting in a scary way… Suddenly monday seems like decades away.

  35. @bule_jr says:

    If this isn’t madness, we are deinitely not in SPARTA. Kai wole (Y)

  36. yemijohnson says:

    woah, din’t see this part coming. You have killed sandra

  37. jael says:

    I saw blood, and Wole wrote it.. Satisfied..

  38. ThinkTank says:

    Just a quick comment for those that think the stories are too vastly different in tone and style and therefore somewhat incoherent – that’s the point!

    There is no theme, no tone, no limitation, no rule, no boundary and each writer chooses how much logic (or lack thereof) they wish to have. So buckle up ladies and gentlemen, its going to be a wild and bumpy ride!

    Sandie, let’s have it!

  39. Haha!! Havnt bn able to comment 2 hausa niggas are dead 😦 … But u did a great work Think thank. The convo with KAT,brilliant description… U sha like blood. Nice work man.and yea,I got the “Kat got ur tongue” part. 🙂

    And to the rest,like Wole & Deola said,there’s no theme. So we’re jus having fun with it.

  40. taraobiago says:

    “I know bad guys”? LMHO. Kat seems like a ridiculous character!

  41. laiwola11 says:

    Wow!!!u saw dat coming? U b winch!!
    10Q ‘GORY TANK wole’ 4 that spicy twist..

  42. […] check out Brethren, ye are not Kanye of the West and  ANIMAL on, a minor entry ‘Answers Needed…’ in the delightfully ludicrous Writers roundabout  going on at Deola’s blog  as well as a […]

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